Ich habe Zeit nicht für dies
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
Evolution of a Meme:
A Selected Bibliography
THE PRECURSOR (2000)
November 13, 2000A MEME EMERGES (2002-03)
Bush is a “white-knuckle drunk”
Martin Sheen
at a treatment center in Vista Del Mar
September 24, 2002REVENGE OF THE MEME (2004)
“Dry Drunk: Is Bush making a cry for help?”
by Alan Bisbort
in the American Politics Journal
[H]ow did he, at age 58, getOctober 11, 2002
-- so fumble-tongued, incapable of stringing more than two coherent sentences together,
-- snippily irritable with anyone who dares disagree with him or even ask a question, poutily turning his back on the democratically elected president of one of our most important allies because of something one of his underlings said about him (Germany's Schroder, of course),
-- listlessly in need of constant vacations and rest,
-- dangerously obsessed with only one thing (Iraq), to the exclusion of all other things...
-- so eager to engage in violence and so incapable of explaining why?
“Addiction, Brain Damage and the President: ‘Dry Drunk’ Syndrome and George W. Bush”
by Katherine van Wormer
on CounterPunch
Bush manifests all the classic patterns of what alcoholics in recovery call "the dry drunk." His behavior is consistent with barely noticeable but meaningful brain damage brought on by years of heavy drinking and possible cocaine use. All the classic patterns of addictive thinking ... are here:October 19, 2002
-- the tendency to go to extremes (leading America into a massive 100 billion dollar strike-first war);
-- a "kill or be killed mentality;"
-- the tunnel vision;
-- "I" as opposed to "we" thinking;
-- the black and white polarized thought processes (good versus evil, all or nothing thinking).
“George W. and Alcoholism”
by Michael O’McCarthy
on CounterPunch
November 15, 2002
“‘Dry drunk’ syndrome and G.W. Bush”
by Katherine van Wormer
in The Progressive Populist (vol. 8, no. 20)
January 22, 2003
“Dry Drunk Confirmed? O’Neill’s Revelations and the Mind of Bush”
by Katherine van Wormer
on CounterPunch
March 10, 2003
“Is Bush a ‘Dry Drunk’? This is a Serious, Not Just a Provacative Question”
by Michael O’McCarthy
on Buzzflash
and on The Free Press (dated November 19, 2003, but otherwise unaltered)
March 17, 2003
“Is Bush a ‘Dry Drunk’?”
by Harley Sorensen
on SF Gate
April 2, 2003
“An Unnecessary War”
by James A. Haught
in the Miami Herald
May 9, 2003
“G.W. Bush: Drunk on Power”
by Sam Hamod and Elaine Cassel
on CounterPunch
May 19, 2003
“Dry Drunk”
by Alan Bisbort
on In These Times
(a version of his 2002 article in APJ)
June 15, 2003
“Bush’s Actions Reflect ‘Dry Drunk’ Mindset”
by Katherine van Wormer
in The Progressive Populist (vol. 9, no. 11)
June 15, 2004 (on sale)PANDORA'S BOX: BAD JOURNALISM ON THE INTERNET IS IRREVERSIBLE
Bush on the Couch: Inside the Mind of the President
by Justin A. Frank
Happer Collins, 272 pages (read the Introduction)
Bush is an untreated ex-alcoholic with paranoid and megalomaniac tendencies.June 16, 2004
[He has a] lifelong streak of sadism, ranging from childhood pranks (using firecrackers to explode frogs) to insulting journalists, gloating over state executions ... [and] pumping his fist gleefully before the bombing of Baghdad."
[His drinking history] may have affected his brain function--and his decision to quit drinking without the help of a 12-step program [puts] him at far higher risk of relapse.
Bush's behavior strongly suggests an unconscious resentment toward our own servicemen, whose bravery puts his own (nonexistent) wartime service record to shame.
Interview with Justin Frank
by Dan Froomkin
in the Washington Post
His smirk as an adult, his mimicry of patients on death row while he was Governor are all part of a similar pattern [of sadism].June 17, 2004
I think that the Bush who proudly shows off Saddam's handgun to visitors is the same Bush who proudly pranced aboard the aircraft carrier last year declaring that the war in Iraq was over. His behavior is similar to that of an eight-year-old boy playing Superman and believing that he won a war all by himself, that he captured Saddam by himself. The behavior is "disconnected" not only from current events, but from a fundamental understanding of self.
I do get anxious more about followers than about Bush himself. Stalin he is not.
I have received endorsements from other psychoanalysts and psychiatrists, most notably from Dr. James Grotstein, MD who is Professor at UCLA Medical Center. He gave high praise for the book and for its scholarship. I also received endorsement from Dr. Irvin Yalom, MD, Professor Emeritus at Stanford University Medical School. He wrote that the book is “compelling and persuasive and downright frightening.”
“New Information Suggests Bush Indecisive, Paranoid, Delusional”
by Teresa Hampton, Editor
on Capital Hill Blue
June 22, 2004
“Democrat shrink takes unflattering look into depths of Bush”
by Julian Borger
in The Guardian of London
June 22, 2004
“Dry-Drunk President Losing His Grip?”
by Bill Gallagher
in the Niagra Falls Reporter
July 1, 2004
“The Damaged Mind of George W. Bush: The Madness in His Method”
by Katherine van Wormer
on CounterPunch
July 9, 2004
“Mapping George Bush’s Head”
by Bob Wallace
on The Price of Liberty
July 13, 2004
“George W. Bush: Presidential or Pathological”
by Arianna Huffington
also on AlterNet
July 28, 2004THE HANGERS ON (September 2004)
“Bush Using Drugs to Control Depression, Erratic Behavior”
by Teresa Hampton, CHB Editor
on Capital Hill Blue
Story removed from CHB site but still appears on 499 other websites.
July 29, 2004
“Sullen, Depressed President Retreats Into Private, Paranoid World”
by Teresa Hapton and William B. McTavish
on Capital Hill Blue
Story removed from CHB site (but link changed to June 17 story) but still appears on 135 other websites.
September 8, 2004
Teresa Hampton and William McTavish fired
by ombudsman Sandra Riley
on Capital Hill Blue
A problem with unnamed sources brings Hampton’s July 28 story, Bush Taking Anti-Depressants into question. While she quotes Dr. Justin Frank on his analysis of the President’s behavior, she does not offer any corroboration to the conclusion that White House Physician Col. Richard J. Tubb actually prescribed any anti-depressant medication to Bush. For that reason, the story was pulled.
I also killed a July 29 story, Sullen, Depressed President Retreats into a Private, Paranoid World, by Hampton and former CHB reporter William D. McTavish. Again, the only quoted source was Dr. Frank and the quotes were repeats of those from earlier story. His quotes did not back up the claims by unnamed sources.
This makes two stories removed from the CHB archives. A common thread in all three is that they were authored in part or in whole by Hampton, who was recently relieved of her duties as editor because of a lapse in judgment over publication of a column that reflected a personal agenda by the writer (McTavish, who was also fired).
Because of this, our publisher has asked me to go back over all articles written by both Hampton and McTavish. I am doing so and will report to our readers when the review is complete.
September 5, 2005That was exhausting. I need a drink.
“Is any alcoholic ever really cured? ... Has America really faced the fact that we have an alcoholic as our president?”
by Susan Estrich
in her syndicated column
September 16, 2004
“Is Bush drinking NOW? More important than TANG, coke, or anything else”
by Grassroots Mom
on the Daily Kos
September 28, 2004
In debate negotiations “Bush said no M&Ms because he might choke on them when he’s drunk.”
Bill Maher
on Hardball with Chris Matthews
In Defense of Sighing: Gore's Debating Tips for Kerry
In a surreal Op-Ed today in the New York Times (username: freenyt, password: freenyt), Al Gore shares with Kerry his firsthand experience debating George W. Bush:
He's a skilled debater who uses the format to his advantage.Like using the "live" format to appear alive. Sorry. I know it's not really fair anymore to tease Gore about his formerly comatose self-carriage since his overcompensatory fixing of that problem in the last year with his fiery Preacher Albert rhetorical style in which he sometimes falls into iambic pentameter, emphasizing every other syllable in righteous outrage.
Hugh Hewitt says he hasn't read the Gore piece yet but hopes his tips include:
-- Don't get made up like a saloon girl with small pox;One out of six (sort of). Gore's closing line harkens back to the good old days when he was merely condescending and passive-agressive:
-- Don't fidget and sigh like a second grader in time-out;
-- Don't make up travel adventures to disaster sites with FEMA directors;
-- Don't stalk the president in a way as to alarm the Secret Service;
-- Don't suddenly go passive as though you'd been hit by a dart gun containing a paralyzing agent.
-- Don't bring up anything with "dingle" in the title.
Comparing these grandiose promises to his failed record, it's enough to make anyone want to, well, sigh.Gore also tries to innoculate debate watchers against Bush's practically Clintonesque likeability advantage over his humor-repellent challenger:
The debate tomorrow should not seek to discover which candidate would be more fun to have a beer with.Boy, you better HOPE so! Humor-impaired himself, Gore is reduced to following up with someone else's joke:
As Jon Stewart of the "The Daily Show" nicely put in 2000, "I want my president to be the designated driver."That reminds me: With no Bush skeletons left unexploited after three campaigns for governor and president, Democrats have resorted to recycling Bush's 1976 DUI as "once drunk, always drunk." As Susan Estrich wrote this month about Cheney, "Is any alcoholic ever really cured?" Regarding Bush, Estrich asks, "Has America really faced the fact that we have an alcoholic as our president?"
Remind me again: How long has Teddy Kennedy been in the Senate?
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
Here we go
There was a reception tonight in the office of the course convener of my MA, a charming gentleman whose expertise is Oscar Wilde. There are about 300 postgraduates in English (including research students) and the department offers over a dozen distinct Masters programmes, though in my quite specialized course there are six students, four gals and another guy. Tonight our host served red and white wine though he is a self-professed (N.P.I.) teetotaller, and four of the many other lecturers who contribute to the course were also there. We finally got our schedule for the term: we will meet for two hours on Tuesday afternoons and two hours on Thursdays.
At one point the professor offered his favorite Wildism, though he acknowledged it may be apocryphal: At a party, he was asked by the hostess, "Are you enjoying yourself, Mr. Wilde?" to which he replied, "Well, there isn't anyone else to enjoy."
Monday, September 27, 2004
Tougher than Indiana Jones, and smarter too
Check out the astonishing C.V. of Kathleen Namphy who just died at 69.
Conan the Conqueror!
Yes! Conan O'Brien's sense of humor has been completely and totally vindicated. Ten years after being in perpetual threat of cancellation his first year in charge of "Late Night," Conan has just signed a contract with NBC which guarantees his promotion to The Tonight Show when Jay Leno retires in 2009.
Hopefully I'll have finished grad school by then, and will probably return to the United States so I can be Conanized every night and still get to bed at 12:35. If he also moves out to L.A., I could get season tickets! (If he doesn't, maybe NYU would hire me.)
Goldberg Unable to Be More Out of Touch with Native Americans
The National Annenburg Election Survey, which conducted the largest academic election poll ever conducted in 2000, reported Friday that 90 percent of American Indians are not bothered by the name of the Washington Redskins football team, while 9 percent found the name offensive. The survey was taken over the course of the past 12 months.
Though there was little variation among subdemographic categories, American Indians were more likely to be offended if they were:
YOUNG
10 percent of Indians under 45 found the name offensive, compared to 8 percent of those 45 and older.
RICH
Among Indians with household incomes of $75,000 or more, 12 percent found the name offensive, compared to 9 percent of those with incomes between $35,000 and $75,000 and 8 percent of those with incomes below $35,000.
"EDUCATED"
13 percent of Indians with college degrees or more education said "Redskins" was offensive, compared to 9 percent of those with some college and 6 percent of those with a high school education or less.
LIBERAL
14 percent of Indians who called themselves politically liberal said the name was offensive, compared to 9 percent of moderates and 6 percent of conservatives.
Isn't that interesting? Native Americans have to be taught that Redskin is offensive, and the affluent are more offended than the poor.
MetroSnatch
Steve McQueen is back, and he’s British
In Layer Cake, Daniel Craig strides through London (Democrats would say “swaggers”) impeccably dressed in varying degrees of euro-casual. Handsome without being pretty, the soft-spoken Craig is a towheaded Clive Owen with Brad Pitt’s lips. Seen previously in Tomb Raider, as the drunken Conner Rooney in Road to Perdition, and the husband of Sylvia Plath in Gwenyth Paltrow’s Sylvia, Craig now gets top billing as a savvy cocaine businessman who exudes McQueen cool in the first directorial effort of successful producer--and producer of children with wife Claudia Schiffer--Matthew Vaughn.
Thought to be the son of Robert Vaughn--the only surviving member of the Magnificent Seven and McQueen's co-star in Bullitt--when he was born in Beverley Hills, but actually the son of Windsor Castle-born aristocrat (and godson of King George VI) George Drummond, Matthew Vaughn took the helm of Layer Cake after Guy Ritchie passed on the script adapted by JJ Connelly from his own novel. It’s being advertised in Britain as “like seeing Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels for the first time,” but though Vaughn produced both Lock, Stock and Snatch, he has made his vision of London crime distinct from that of his predecessor, making Layer Cake bright (I don’t remember more than one scene at night) and relatively sunny (there isn’t a drop of rain in this London). The over-eccentric characters of Ritchie’s flicks are also mercifully absent in Layer Cake; there is no Vinnie Jones cameo. The camera movement is crisp but not flashy, and the editing smart without being too clever. Ritchie assaults your retinas with a cacophony of bright primary colors; Vaughn soothes them with cool hues and understated pastels. Layer Cake is Snatch metrosexed-up for High Street.
But make no mistake: Layer Cake does have similarities with its cousins. The requisite double-crosses and mean over-bosses are here, and the protagonist gets sufficiently beat up. There isn’t an overabundance of violence in Layer Cake, but what it does have, rather than being sterilized with style, is intensified by it. The most brutal scene includes the point of view of a thrashee getting kicked into a coma: I can’t imagine how it was achieved without destroying a camera or two.
The claim of restaurateur Marco Pierre-White, in the trailer, that Layer Cake has “two large portions” of sexuality is, frankly, false advertising. A true “teaser,” it pretends to hint at something that doesn’t really exist in the final cut, whose sex quotient is no higher than the trailer itself. That said, however, there are a couple brief glimpses of anonymous nudity near the beginning, so leave the kiddies with a sitter (say I as my demographic evolves into young parents).
Layer Cake will be released in the UK this Friday, October 1. A first-quarter 2005 release is expected for the US. A longer version of the trailer with more violence is available here.
Friday, September 24, 2004
"I'm Moving On": Goldberg Gets Over It, Proceeds with Legislative Agenda
Friday, September 24, 2004
Los Angeles (Ass Press) -- Still smarting from the governor's Tuesday rejection of AB 858, East L.A. Assemblywoman Jackie Goldberg introduced a new bill in Sacramento that would ban the term "redhead" from usage in California barbershops and hair salons. "We have blondes and brunettes, not yellowheads and brownheads. It's time to end the degradation of the auburn persuasion."
Responding to criticism that, in the wake of AB 858's demise, her new bill is simply retaliatory, Goldberg said, "This has nothing to do with my anti-Redskin legislation. This is a civil rights issue. Even the most insensitive high schools--those with Redskins mascots--wouldn't name their teams the Redheads. Slavery has been over for 40 years, but certified beauticians still say "redhead"!"
"Would you name your daughter "Redhead"?" asked Sen. Richard Alarcorn, D-Van Nuys. "I don't believe you would. Why? Because you know it's wrong. If you know you would not name somebody Redhead then why allow others to call them a redhead?"
Opponents said the proposal is a waste of time, not to mention stupid.
"I think many members have heard from constituents just how silly they think it is that we deal with a matter like this," said Sen. Roy Ashborn, R-Bakersfield.
Despite that, Redheaded lobby groups that pushed for the bill are applauding its passage.
“This is a historic day; for the first time, a state legislature has the opportunity to take a critical initial step to eliminate the use of pigmentist language in hair parlors," said Lori Nelsen, co-chair of the Alliance Against Anti-Chromites, "We are only a few steps from enactment of this important law."
"The use of "redhead" is an affront to California's red-haired community, whose members pay taxes to support the public parking lots that service the hair salons that continue to use these epithets," said Eugene Herod, director of Advocates for American Children of the Rainbow. "Chestnut-hued children should not be subjected to this kind of disrespectful activity and imagery in their styling studios."
"Academic studies have shown that terms like "redhead" affect the self-esteem and achievement of vermilion-maned youth; therefore, we believe that Governor Schwarzenegger will understand how this is yet another important step to securing better and more equal styling solutions for California children," said Natalie Stiter, co-chair of C.A.R.R.O.T.T.O.P.S.
"Russet-haired American students suffer some of the worst possible economic conditions, high suicide rates, low self-esteem and have some of the lowest achievement scores. Hearing their most visible characteristic mocked and used as a blatantly offensive term does not help this," said Goldberg. "This is an important step that California must take to make sure every student receives an equal styling experience and to ensure that we promote diversity and respect for different hair tinctures."
Adapted from the NAT.
Chief Paleface Protects Redskins
That's right, Governor Schwarzenegger vetoed the California Senate- and Assembly-approved bill that would ban schools from using the name "Redskins" as their mascot.
Los Angeles Assemblywoman and moral idiot Jackie Goldberg, who has foolishly devoted her career to this frivolous cause, embarrassed herself by saying:
"Well, if local control was the issue in civil rights, we'd still have slavery in the South, wouldn't we? In this case he chose to treat it as a non-civil rights issue, which disappoints me. He knows better than that."As Maddox would say, 40,341 people voted for this stupid woman. In other words, 85.6% of her district. So this probably won't be the last we hear of her crusade against Redskins, despite what she said a month ago:
"This is the last time I intend to bring up this issue," said Goldberg, who originally aimed to bar a longer list of Native American names, but couldn't win approval from lawmakers.But now:
Although she told colleagues last month it was her "last time" bringing up the issue, Goldberg said Tuesday that was based on the assumption Schwarzenegger would sign it.HA ha! Arnold's in charge now, Jackie!
Oh dear, I just had a frightening thought. Imagine Gray Davis still being governor. Ugh. Thank the Great Spirit he's not.
Rather Malvolioesque
Hugh Hewitt received this email from US Naval Academy professor David Allen White about Shakespeare's Twelfth Night, apropos of, oh, nobody I can think of:
Malvolio (Mal - volio "ill wisher") is the Steward in the household of the Countess Olivia. Stern, proud, puritanical, he spends his time putting the kibosh on other people's good times. Having broken up a late night party of song and drink among Sir Toby Belch (Olivia'a uncle), Sir Andrew Aguecheek (Olivia's foolish suitor), Feste (Olivia's Fool or Clown) and Maria (Olivia's servingwoman), Malvolio berates the assembly. Sir Toby replies: "Dost thou think, because thou art virtuous, there shall be no more cakes and ale?" (2.3.114-15) Maria suggests they get revenge on the partypooper. She knows Malvolio is infatuated with Olivia. She offers to forge a love letter that appears to be from Olivia to Malvolio. "...the best persuaded of himself,so crammed, as he thinks, with excellencies, that it is his grounds of faith that all that look on him love him; and on that vice in him will my revenge find notable cause to work." (2.3.149-152).Poor Bill Burkett. Hell hath no fury like being Rather duped.
They drop the letter where Malvolio will find it and watch as he finds in the forged document what he wants to find there -- a profession of love from Olivia, built on the slender evidence of a series of letters M.O.A.I. which are in the letter and also in his name. He convinces himself of Olivia's love as he reads in the letter : "In my stars I am above thee, but be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon 'em." (2.5.141-143). The letter also tells him to come into her presence wearing yellow stockings, cross-gartered and smiling constantly. He does so and it is so unlike himself, Olivia assumes he has gone mad. Malvolio is locked away in a house where he can do no damage. The Clown Feste visits him in disguise and speaks with him. Malvolio is suffering and cannot determine what has happened to him:
Malvolio: "I am not mad, Sir Topas. I say to you this house is dark."
Feste: "Madman, thou errest. I say there is no darkness but ignorance, in which thou art more puzzled than the Egyptians in their fog." (4.2.40-45) (The 9th of the plagues)
When the scheme is revealed at the end of the play, Malvolio does not repent or become humble; he becomes enraged. Olivia shows her kindness in feeling sorry for him; the others do not. Feste states triumphantly, "And thus the whirligig of time brings in his revenges" (5.1.376) and Malvolio storms off stating, "I'll be revenged on the whole pack of you!" (5.1.378) He is not part of the happy ending of the play.
The victim finds in the forged documents what he hopes to find there. Pride goeth before a fall. Having been trapped and having had the trap revealed, the proud victim blames others.
It's all very familiar!
Maybe David Flynn has the antidote to Ratheritis.
Thursday, September 23, 2004
Putting the "free" in Kreeft
Hey kids, I just heard that Boston College philosopher Peter Kreeft will be giving a free lecture on the Lord of the Rings (with special reference to the films, I believe) at my alma mater on Saturday night, October 2, from 7:00 to 9:30 PM in the Sutherlanditorium.
I have a feeling this will be the same lecture I heard him give in June at the University of San Diego. If so, you won't want to miss it. The lecture itself was probably an hour or less, so I wouldn't surprised if the second half is Q&A, which would be a great opportunity for anyone who can make it. Hell, even if it's not the same lecture, you still won't want to miss it. He has a keen mind, a good sense of humor, and is delightful to listen to.
The fact that it's free leaves you literally no excuse not to be there. Just make sure you get there early because I have a feeling the 700 or so seats will fill up quickly.
UPDATE: Dr. Kreeft will also be giving a THI context lecture on Friday night, October 1, from 8:00 to 9:30 in Mayers. So those of you who are alumni should take advantage of that, too, and go even if it is a Friday night. You can still take your date to I <3 Huckabees straight afterwards anyway.
A Slice of Miss American Pie
There have been 79 Miss America competitions since the first was held in 1921. Only 28 states and the District of Columbia have ever won a Miss America pageant.
The Elite Eleven
In the 20 competitions from 1921 to 1946, winners come from only 10 different states and the District of Columbia.
Affirmative Action...
From 1947 to 1953, all of the Miss Americas are from states that have never won before.
...is short-lived
In 1954, the fifth Miss Pennsylvania wins the pageant. In 1955, the fifth Miss California wins.
Many are called, but few are chosen
22 states and the Virgin Islands have never won a Miss America pageant.
THE TAPE MEASUREBased on information at the official Miss America site.
Six Miss Americas:California (1925, 1941, 1943, 1946, 1955, 1983)Five Miss Americas:Illinois (1927, 1969, 1991, 1998, 2003)Four Miss Americas:
Ohio (1922, 1923, 1938, 1963, 1978)
Pennsylvania (1924, 1935, 1936, 1940, 1954)Michigan (1939, 1961, 1970, 1988)Three Miss Americas:
Mississippi (1959, 1960, 1980, 1986)
Oklahoma (1926, 1967, 1981, 1996)Alabama (1951, 1995, 2005)Two Miss Americas:
Kansas (1966, 1968, 1997)
Minnesota (1948, 1977, 1989)
New York (1945, 1976, 1984a)Arizona (1949, 1965)One Miss America:
Arkansas (1964, 1982)
Colorado (1956, 1958)
Florida (1993, 2004)
Hawaii (1992, 2001)
New Jersey (1937, 1984b)
South Carolina (1957, 1994)
Tennessee (1947, 1987)
Texas (1942, 1971)
Utah (1952, 1985)
Virginia (1979, 1999)
District of Columbia (1921, 1999)Connecticut (1933)No Miss Americas:
Georgia (1953)
Kentucky (2000)
Missouri (1990)
North Carolina (1962)
Oregon (2002)Alaska
Delaware
Idaho
Indiana
Iowa
Louisiana
Maine
Maryland
Massachusetts
Montana
Nebraska
Nevada
New Hampshire
New Mexico
North Dakota
Rhode Island
South Dakota
Vermont
Washington
West Virginia
Wisconsin
Wyoming
Virgin Islands
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
Return to Normalcy
4:48 PM GMT: Well, I'm back and more appreciative than ever of my health. It's been drizzling all day but for the first time it doesn't bother me a bit. It's not too cold so I've been walking around in jeans and flip-flops and no hat or umbrella, just enjoying my amazing lucidity. As a literary genius, my thoughts every second are much too interesting to bury them under a flood of liquid poison. Well, now it's time for the Jarratt Hall BBQ. I'm looking forward to actually enjoying the company of all the friends I made Monday night instead of just making them take care of me like an infant. What an ass.
Monday, September 20, 2004
Fucqueue
4:27 PM GMT: At 10 o'clock this morning I stood in a 45-minute queue to turn in (or "give in" as they say) my online registration confirmation and receive my ID card. I didn't mind because it was the only line I would have to be in, and after all, I brought my camera with me.
The room built for passing out ID cards:
After eating lunch (really an 11 o'clock breakfast) at the Gun Barrels, however, I couldn't go home to take a nap because I had a 1:45 appointment with HSBC to open a bank account. Last week they had given me a list of exactly what kind of identification and proofs of address I needed to bring with me. The clerk had even added in handwriting for me that I needed proof of my bachelor's degree to qualify for the account for postgraduates, so I got my transcript faxed to me. All set.
At noon I found one of the Student Guild building's three bars (one for each floor!) empty so I slept on the couch till my bank appointment. Woke up at 1:30. Walked one floor down to the HSBC campus branch. Proudly show my collected passport, university acceptance letter with home address, housing contract with UK address, and undergraduate transcript. Then the same clerk I talked to last week says:
"Excuse me, we need a letter from the university with both your home address and term-time address on the same piece of paper."Walking over to the Aston Webb building, I'm sure an hour and ten minutes is plenty time to stand in line, get the print-out, come back, and finish my application proceedure. No problem.
"Sorry?"
"They know what it is, they give them out all the time. Just go to student services and ask for one."
"Alright, you're here till three, right?"
"Yes. Come back as soon as possible. There's probably a bit of a queue."
"Sure. Be right back."
Problem. The queue -- though half as long as this morning's 45-minute one -- took over an hour. I got the letter in my hand at 3:01 and ran back. At 3:03, HSBC was tight as a drum.
I could've taken a nap in my bed at 12, but instead I wasted three hours with nothing to show for it. Coudln't the clerk have told me about that last week? Added it in handwriting while she was at it? So I'm pissed off, and now I'm just waiting to get pissed on the Harbone pubcrawl at 5:00. Another official university event.
P.S. So far I've found a pub with pound-for-a-pint Monday nights and another with pound-for-a-ping Tuesdays. Five more to find.
Sunday, September 19, 2004
Rugbi
2:10 AM GMT: On the way home tonight I walked by a Rugby game taking place under the lights in the rain. I had always been under the impression that Rugby was basically American Football but without either protective equipment or rules about how, when, or where you can throw or kick the ball. In reality, however, Rugby is much closer to American Cheerleading.
For example, if the ball goes out of bounds, the defense lines up side-by-side facing away from the bounds line while another teammate runs toward them. Then they grab his legs and hoist him into the air as high as possible so he can try to block the ball being inbounded over them. Honest truth.
But that’s not all. Instead of both teams lining up side-by-side on the line of scrimmage, each team forms an interlocking huddle facing one direction by grabbing each other’s thighs, so they can push against the opposite team’s huddle, like a reverse tug of war. Then somebody inserts the ball into one side of this squirming cluster, at which point it’s hard to tell what’s happening until the ball emerges from the other side and is now in play. Obviously I’m not making this up. I couldn’t have invented a sport with such gay rules.
Saturday, September 18, 2004
Forged in Mount Doom
Hugh Hewitt asked for Lord of the Rings analogies to Rathergate, and he's posted the best. This one's my favorite:
It has to be Saruman denouncing Aragorn as a) a child of privilege, but b) not the true heir to the throne of Gondor ("selected" by Gandalf, who is the ringleader of the neocon conspiracy). And did you know that Aragorn pulled strings to get out of serving in the Gondor army? Gandalf and Elrond got him into the Rangers, who were just a bunch of misfits goofing around in the North, far, far away from the real fighting in Gondor. Besides, we all know Aragorn spent a lot of time getting drunk at the Prancing Pony in Bree. Here are the scrolls that prove it! What? You say this was printed with a machine that didn't exist back then? Well, here's Elrond's head scribe, who says she didn't write those scrolls, but that that's what Elrond thought, and now he's dead so we can't ask him. What? He's not dead? Oh, right, drat those immortal elves. Um, okay, well, we stand by the story but we'll explain Elrond at a press conference tomorrow. 12 noon sharp.
Anyway, this flap about the scrolls is distracting us from the real story, which is that Aragorn has no plan for how to end the War with Sauron. We should leave this up to the elves. They are far wiser than this cowboy ranger, far more civilized and sophisticated. Oh sure, only about one in ten of them will pick up a bow to fight, most would rather just head west, and why not? Sauron is in his box. Its just these simplistic humans, and the poor hobbits they've duped or bribed, who are stirring up trouble.
And don't get me started on the dwarves. They just want to drill wells, or dig tunnels, or something bad for the environment, in ANWR. And have you heard the things that Aragorn's party says about orcs? Pure racism. They denigrate an entire race because a few of them, driven by poverty and oppression no doubt, eat a village or two worth of people now and then. This Aragorn and his band are dangerous. We must stop them before they bring the misery of freedom to all of Middle Earth.
Image by SpikeMike Jejja and Zoot Stewart courtesy of Hugh Hewitt
UPDATE: Last year--long before Dan Rather's journalistic suicide--prolific comic book writer (and crazy liberal) Peter David detected the connection between CBS and the Dark Lord:
Sauron is alive and well and is the secret mastermind behind CBS television.I would only add--so obvious now--that "Dan Rather" and "Denethor" have the same consonants.
You doubt me? You think that's ridiculous? Ah, but consider:
The CBS symbol--A giant, unblinking eye, focused on the hearts and minds of America.
CBS Headquarters--a gigantic, ebony tower, oftentimes referred to as Black Rock.
The initials--CBS=Created By Sauron.
Both have major spokesmen with three syllable names ending with "man" (Saruman=Letterman)
Friday, September 17, 2004
United Nations: Enabler of Evil
Beautiful Atrocities: "Celestial Being Kofi Annan descended to Earth this week to declare, one year after the fact, the Iraq War was illegal. Coming 2 days after Baathist/jihadi murderers illegally slaughtered 47 Iraqis in Baghdad, Annan's annunciation was sure to give aid & succor to the Sadr/Zarqawi terror axis that longs for the good old days of UN legalism in Iraq."
On another, but related note, here's the latest on the U.N.'s Saddam-benefiting Oil-for-Food fiasco.
RE2 DVD Cover Competition
Entrant #1 is this site's own Andy Richter, the wouldn't-know-it-from-his-submission-but-talented Ryan Agadoni, with a suggestive copyright-infringing piece:
Judges' Evaluation:
CONSIt should be noted that the Judges' Evaluation has no bearing on the outcome of the competition itself, in which the entries will be compared only against the official DVD artwork.
Not in accordance with established Crappy DVD Cover convention, it's missing Milla's costars, TV's Helen of Troy Sienna Guillory, and Israeli beefcake Oded Fehr of Mummy notoriety.
PROS
It's better than Ryan's first try.
The only question we all want to know, Ryan, is how pictures of Milla did you have to click through to find just the right one?
Thursday, September 16, 2004
Okay, so maybe they're fake, but that doesn't change anything!
Front page of the Washington Post today:
RATHER CONCEDES PAPERS ARE SUSPECTDan is too modest:
CBS anchor Dan Rather acknowledged for the first time yesterday that there are serious questions about the authenticity of the documents he used to question President Bush's National Guard record last week on "60 Minutes."
"If the documents are not what we were led to believe, I'd like to break that story," Rather said in an interview last night. "Any time I'm wrong, I want to be right out front and say, 'Folks, this is what went wrong and how it went wrong.' "
"This is not about me," Rather said before anchoring last night's newscast. "I recognize that those who didn't want the information out and tried to discredit the story are trying to make it about me, and I accept that."Dan's threatening memo to "journalistic competitors":
"Instead of asking President Bush and his staff questions about what is true and not true about the president's military service, they ask me questions: 'How do you know this and that about the documents?'"Interpreted by former CBS correspondent Bernard Goldberg:
"CBS News is acting the way the Nixon administration did during Watergate. I'm really sad to say that Dan Rather is acting like Richard Nixon. It's the coverup, it's the stonewalling."Read Lileks on "fake but accurate" ploy (scroll down halfway).
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
Websense Gets Websensed
My friends at you-know-what university with anti-staff-accessing-porn technology that gets carried away with itself should appreciate this.
Maddox discovered he's been banned by Websense and banned them back. No more hypocritical guilty pleasures for the folks at the 9th District Court-resembling unilateral censor agency. He also found a helpful flowchart which explains how the system works.
Nice Posters turned Crappy DVD Covers: Exhibit B
Okay, so the DVD hasn't come out yet, but we all know that when it does this beautiful Pre-Raphaelite pose is going to be scuttled in favor of an ugly collage. If this were an art site I would sponsor a competition for Most Likely DVD Cover. Whoever's closest to the real thing when it comes out wins. Maybe Ryan will do a mock-up for us anyway.
Courtesy KillerMovies.com
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
Brit-Mex
8:52 PM GMT: Dinner tonight at the Guild of Students (their ASB) was terrible, a choice of three different hot dishes from places like Malaysia. The vegetarian section had a kind of mexican chili being served in taco shells, but as far as I could tell the chili had ground beef in it. I was bewildered too.
The taco shells were the hardest thing I've ever managed not to break my teeth on and tasted like cardboard, so on the way out I politely mentioned to the cafeteria server that they were stale. The cafeteria manager happened to overhear me and walked over to the tray of taco shells. He picked one up and broke it with his hand.
"Stale? This is stale?" he said, as if I was nuts. But confident that these were the worst taco shells I've ever had in my life, I insisted, "Well, just taste it."
So he crunched a piece in his mouth and shook his eyed with raised eyebrows like nothing was wrong with it. I stared at him in stunned disbelief. I was about to say, "Sorry, I guess you've never had a taco before," but I figured I might have to deal with him again in the future sometime, so I tried not to embarrass him by saying that it must have been just the package mine came out of.
Reporting for Duty!
10:07 AM GMT: I touched down in Birmingham about 26 hours ago, but I won't have internet access in my room until next Monday and this is the first chance I've had to get online.
Walking out of the airport yesterday morning, I was struck by the smell of England. I had forgetten England had such a distinctive aroma. I can't describe it, but it's probably the result of freshly fallen rain in atmospheric combat with petrol and cigarette smokem, simultaneously clear and stuffy.
I took a taxi to the university with two other grad students, a 22-year-old girl from Greece and a 30-year-old gentleman from Mexico City, both here for an MBA. The 3-mile trip took a half hour thanks to Britain's characteristic two-lane roads, where one collision holds the city hostage. The 91 freeway in L.A., by comparison, feels as wide as the Mississippi River.
Once on campus I moved into my flat in university housing (below). My bedroom is smaller than the small room I had last year in Oxford. It's probably 15 feet by 15 feet, including the triangular bathroom. Don't feel sorry for me; the bathroom is practically TWICE the size of an airplane lavatory. It is one of the newest housing facilities on campus, but they still haven't figured out how to get the hot and cold water to come out of the same damn faucet. England really is like a second-world country in many respects.
My bedroom door was too tight for the frame and required a hard yank just to shut it, producing a thunder-clap that could be heard in Wales. So I reported it and two handymen spent an hour shaving down the door. Supposedly the door had swelled with all the water splashed about by the cleaning people. I took a picture of all the sawdust, but won't be able to post pics till next week.
I'm very close to several liquor stores and a couple large pubs, the Goose, a more traditional pub where the middle-agers go, and Soak (a contraction of Selly Oak?), frequented by the younger set. Just around the corner from me is Aldi's market, a German chain which sells everything for cheap. It's sort of a 99-Pence store. But not only do you have to bag your own groceries (which I'm terrible at) like the rest of the country, you also have to PAY FOR YOUR PLASTIC BAGS. 3p for the cheap ones and 9p for the luxury model with handles.
After dinner the international student welcome team gave a little program about the area. The highlight was a slideshow of Birmingham narrated by three Asian students who don't bother using prepositions or conjunctions. I can't think of a more surreal welcome to England.
More than half of the international students are from Asian countries, especially Japan, China, Taiwan, and Korea. I have met three other American students. One of my flatmates is from Jordan (I haven't met the other three.) This morning I had breakfast with a student from Paris... and we got along fine! Last night at dinner the Jordanian student asked me who I think will win the election, which was such an innocuous question that I completely forgot my promise not to talk politics. I explained that Kerry's numbers have been steadily decreasing, probably due to his arrogance, sensitivity to criticism, and that he has made "How dare you question my patriotism" a national joke. The Mexican student then wanted to talk about Arnold Schwarzenegger and his "anti-immigrant" stance. I explained the controversy surrounding Gray Davis and the driver's licenses for non-citizens. I also had to explain that I don't think Arnold was elected just because he was an actor or a celebrity. I don't think Tim Robbins or Sean Penn or Alec Baldwin would have been elected if they run. Speaking of which, why don't outspoken Democrat celebrities ever put their money where their mouth is? The Republicans have Ronald Reagan, Sony Bono, and Arnold, which is astounding considering their radical minority in Hollywood. Are there any successful Democratic politicians from Hollywood? (I don't know, I'm really asking.)
But I digress. It is raining again, and I forgot to bring an umbrella with me. Not with me to the computer lab, I forgot to bring one with me to England. What an idiot.
Batman, Champion of Fathers' Rights
ITV reports:
A major security review is underway at Buckingham Palace after a father dressed as Batman made a mockery of police by climbing up the front of the building. Metropolitan Police Commissioner Sir John Stevens has ordered a full report into the embarrassing breach to be on his desk this morning.
Batman unmasked: Jason Hatch!
Sunday, September 12, 2004
Halfway There
Reporting from the Bullseye of Jihad, a couple miles south of the terrorist-targeted Prudential Building here in Newark, New Jersey. I just had a cheeseburger at the terminal's Garden State Diner, which is basically a Ruby's that also serves beer. And whatever oldies station they were playing on the radio is approximately a thousand or so times better than K-Earth 101.
While eating, I saw several nuns dressed in Mother Theresa-style garb. First time I'd ever seen in person someone from her order. I saw five of them walk by at different times, but for all I know it was the same one walking in circles.
The five-hour flight here was great other than that my knees hit the seat in front of me even when I sat up straight (before she leaned her seat back) and the two stewardesses were a 40-year-old woman with buggy eyes and a stout old mean with a full white beard and plastic smile. Creepy. Thanks to John Wayne Airport's Orange County demographics, there wasn't a murderous jihadi psychopath in sight, and I never needed to use any of my carefully planned in-flight preemption tactics.
The captain's voice sounded like Gary Sinese, which could have inspired either confidence or suspicion depending on which movie you last saw him in. I decided to pick confidence since the real Gary Sinese has been on a couple of USO tours for the troops.
The movies were Starsky & Hutch (see my S.H.I.T.T.Y. review here) and 3Harry 3Potter. I didn't want to see S&H again, so I didn't plug in my earphones, but I ended up watching it again anyway. Let me tell you, it plays very well as a silent movie. You can follow the plot easily, which isn't so bad without the painful dialogue. But when Carmen Electra and Amy Smart kissed Owen Wilson and it suddenly cut to the next scene before he had a chance to ask the girls if they wanted to kiss each other, totally omitting the Electra-Smart kiss, I had to quit watching on principle. Talk about getting gyped after investing an hour in a bad movie I'd already seen!
Rejecting the bowdlerized SH, I resorted to reading over the shoulder of my neighbor, who was finishing a novel by Dan DaVinci Code Brown, called Deception Point. At page 500 he was on CHAPTER 122! What the hell kind of novel has 4-page chapters?! Not even a Tom Clancy-size font. Big font. What a retarded book.
I did plug in the earphones for The Prisoner Azkaban, the first HP movie I've ever seen, and overall I liked what I saw. Despite all the knock-off LOTR characters--Professor Lupin on the train in place of Strider at the Prancing Pony, "Dementors" in place of ringwraiths--it kept me interested, especially that last half hour with Harry and Hermione. And speaking of Professor Lupin(e), authors really need to quit telegraphing important revelations about characters in their very names.
Well, they just announced that my boarding gate has changed from 96 to 82 so I better trek down there. Boarding begins in 15 minutes. Will report tomorrow from England!
Friday, September 10, 2004
Reward
The $10,000 cash prize offered by John Addis to anyone who can recreate the Dan Rather Memo on a 1972-era typewriter has been raised to $17,600 thanks to additional contributions. Here's the sophisticated IBM Selectric Composer Owner's Manual's explanation of why it's impossible to create diminished superscript as appears on Dan Rather's document.
While he observed correctly that typewriters with proportional spacing capability did exist in 1972, Dan Rather's defense tonight did not address the unanswerable phenomenon of kerned characters (explained, again, at Powerline).
Also fascinating is the expertise of Robert Cartwright, a computer science professor who knows everything about the history of wordprocessing technology.
Rather To Be Pitied
I don't forsee much time to blog before my departure early Sunday morning, so unfortunately I won't be able to keep up with the developments of the Forged Federal Document story. I have to admit that this story appeals to me both as an amateur typographist and as someone who has had to spend many hours exposing the sometimes intricate plagiarism of my students. And document forensics is basically what I will be studying in grad school two weeks from now, albeit applied to 17th century literary documents.
But as you watch Dan Rather fall on his sword for John Kerry this weekend, keep in mind that DNC Chairman Terry McAuliffe already blamed evil genius and Bush campaign mastermind Karl Rove, functionally admitting that they are frauds. Meanwhile, the senile old man who respectfully interviewd Saddam Hussein is going out of the news business in a blaze of glory and he's taking the Complete Bull Shit network with him.
Ed Norton Chic
The dentist beat the crap out of my mouth this morning. I'll be spitting blood for a week.
Speaking of blood and guts, feel free to post Resident Evil: Apocalypse reviews in the Peanut Gallery over the weekend. I won't get to see it till November.
Thursday, September 09, 2004
The Wall Comes Tumbling Down
In the last 24 hours, the authority of Old Media has been single-handedly destroyed by CBS. Dan Rather ran with a story on 60 Minutes based solely on what has since last night been all-but-conclusively proved to be a badly forged document about Bush's National Guard service.
Powerline broke the story, and their numerous updates contain overwhelming evidence that the documents could not have been created in 1973 as they are dated. The forged documents contain kerned characters, ligatures, and a superscripted "th" -- all wordprocessing features that couldn't have been produced on a typewriter of that era -- in a Times New Roman font.
The story here is CBS's willingness to be duped by a document so transparently fraudulent that it could be exposed by anyone who takes a close look at it. The "real" journalists have had their asses handed to them by non-professional journalists in the blogosphere. Old Media is bankrupt.
Peanut Upheaval
This is a notice that, in order to eliminate confusion and conform to standard blog practice, I have finally given in and inverted the order in which comments appear in the Peanut Galleries. They now descend from least to most recent.
I used to think they should match the order of blog entries but have since changed my mind (like McGreevey).
Kerry Concedes Bush's Three Arguments for Iraq War
This is from a couple of days ago, but I just noticed it. In Cincinatti on Tuesday, Senator Kerry stated:
Today marks a tragic milestone in the war in Iraq; more than 1,000 of America's sons and daughters have now given their lives on behalf of their country, on behalf of freedom, the war on terror.Say what? If my eyes don't deceive me, that's an affirmation that the war in Iraq was (1) a part of the war on terror, (2) in defense of America, and (3) to liberate Iraqis. This is huge! Why wasn't this all over the news?
UPDATE: Jim Geraghty has the Kerry campaign's "clarification":
Kerry Spokesman David Wade, today:Everyday this gets more and more like an SNL skit.
"Kerry was referring to U.S. soldiers fighting in parts of Iraq that have now become a breeding ground for terrorists."Oh, okay. All 1,000+ died "fighting in parts of Iraq that have now become a breeding ground for terrorists," but other than that, it's the wrong war in the wrong place at the wrong time. That clears up everything.
McGreevey May Not Resign After All?
That's the speculation after New Jersey Attorney General Stefanie Brand argued in federal district court that an election is impossible since there is technically no vacancy in the governor's office because the Gay American Hero has not actually filed a formal written letter of resignation.
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
Dental Debacle
I just got back from the dentist, who discovered FIVE cavities that must have developed during the past few months while my braces were on. It took four shots of Novocaine with his novelty-size syringe to get my upper jaw numb. That was three hours ago, and I'm no less numb now. Hopefully I'll be able to keep liquid in my mouth before I go to bed tonight.
He took care of one cavity behind a left-side tooth and three cavities along my outer gum line on three teeth in a row on my right side. He had to give me another appointment on Friday morning for the cavity on the outer gum line of a bottom tooth: "toothbrush abrasion." In my 13 months of braces I brushed my teeth about five times a day, paranoid that I would have bracket-shaped stains on my teeth. It paid off (my orthodontist was surprised by my stainless teeth upon braces removal yesterday) but evidently at a price.
So much for boasting about my one cavity in 24 years.
Spider-Indian
How do you transform Marvel Comics' most successful franchise into a hopeful smash hit comic book series in India? Give him genie slippers and M.C. Hammer parachute pants, of course!
Marvel Editor John Barber describes the Spider-Man: India series to debut this month:
It’s the story of Pavitr Prabhakar, an Indian teenager who just came from a small village to the big city of Mumbai. Like Peter Parker, he’s really smart -- a genius. Even though he and his family lived in this village their whole life, his Uncle Bihm and Aunt Maya know that Pavitr needs to go to a setting where he can further his education.
Pavitr is caught between the traditional village and the modern urban India of Mumbai. The other kids at school make fun of Pavitr -- laugh at his clothes, call him a hick -- and he hasn’t got any friends. Well, except for Meera Jain, who also came from a village and knows what Pavitr’s going through.
Meanwhile, an industrialist named Nalin Oberoi has tracked down an amulet that’ll give him incredible power -- evil power. And Pavitr is chosen to combat that evil...
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
Today in the World
I just got my braces off this morning. Tomorrow I get my teeth cleaned and on Thursday I get my retainer fitted. More importantly, meanwhile:
In an industry first that has rocked the protesting world, Russian demonstrators actually protested TERRORISTS today in the wake of the Islamofascist massacre of hundreds of schoolchildren in Beslan. The protest’s legitimacy is in question, however, as it “appeared to be a state-sponsored rally,” according to MosNews. The Guardian merely observes that it was “organised by a pro-government trade union.”
Nevertheless, protesting do-gooders and Islamoapologists around the world may finally realize that the Bad Guys want everybody dead, including them. While everybody in the World Trade Center was probably asking for it, there’s little explanation for how the kiddies are responsible for the oppression of Muslims.
The party of appeasement must now also explain how Russia and France’s non-support of the Iraq war did not immunize them from the Beslan slaughter and the French journalists being taken hostage by the Islamic Army of Iraq. The Bush-encouraged-terror-by-invading-Iraq storyline continues to crumble.
I BRAKE FOR LABOUR (or I would if I could)
I’ve never been thankful for Labor Day traffic before, but tonight it kept me down to 30 or 40 mph when the brakes went out on the Ford Explorer I was driving down the windy mountain road from Big Bear Lake.
The brakes weakened over the course of two or three turns in the road to such a point that the truck merely slowed when I was pushing the brake pedal all the way against the floor. Pumping the brakes helped only minimally, so I was glad to see a “slower traffic use turnouts” sign which indicated one was coming up soon.
It’s a good thing the turnout was against the mountain on the inside of a right curve. I had about 70 yards to stop, so after 50 of (brake-) pedal-to-the-metal I steered the front right wheel up the embankment and quickly back down which helped slow the truck.
I hadn’t used the emergency brake yet because, unlike sensible foreign cars with a hand brake that you can engage and disengage by degrees, this American beartrap has a one-way e-brake pedal which clicks into position and can only be released all at once by a separate lever, like popping the trunk. All or nothing. So I was saving the e-brake until I was slow enough that I could stop short without catapulting myself through the windshield.
The embankment trick hadn’t brought the truck to a stop, but it had slowed me down to e-brake speed. Make that e-break; it likewise produced no effect whatsoever. So I steered back into the dirt shoulder and a few bushes later the truck and I were at rest, on all four wheels. Several yards to spare.
Fortunately, we live in 2004 and everyone has a cell phone for just such predicaments. Unfortunately, I was between two mountains and there was no service. Exactly zero antenna bars. After a couple of failed calls, I decided to try 911, which initially went through but cut out seconds later. However, I had activated “emergency service” and in a couple seconds I had 80% antenna strength. The 911 operator was able to call my parents who were about an hour away, and they picked me up even though it was their anniversary. (And no, they weren’t married four days after I was born.)
So I’m alive and well and back in San Pedro. I feel like I lucked out. An hour later it would have been pitch black. If it weren’t for the traffic, I’d have been going 50+ mph on that stretch of Hwy 18. If there weren’t a turnout right there, I’d have tried stopping on the narrow road in the middle of traffic. If the turnout hadn’t been on the inside of the road, I wouldn’t have had anything to slow me down except a two-foot guardrail on the edge of a several-hundred-foot cliff. If I didn’t believe in God already, I would now.
Sunday, September 05, 2004
Kerry Wax Museum
Chris Lynch compiles the Post of the Year: a link-heavy August timeline of the Kerry meltdown.
Saturday, September 04, 2004
Gluttony Joins Lust in Clinton's Pantheon of Everyday Vices Apotheosized into Pride
NEW YORK (Ass Press) -- Before heart surgery this weekend, Bill Clinton explained why he allowed his penchant for greasy food to escalate into a quadruple bypass:
"I think I did it for the worst possible reason -- just because I could. I think that's the most, just about the most morally indefensible reason that anybody could have for doing anything."Insulted southern food claims meals were mutual affairs.
Thursday, September 02, 2004
Kerry Completes MetaMoorephosis
Tonight in Springfield, Ohio, John Kerry actually used the catch-phrase of Michael Moore in his within-the-hour response to the president's speech at the RNC:
Let me tell you what I think makes someone unfit for duty. Misleading our nation into war in Iraq makes you unfit to lead this nation.Unfortunately, Kerry offered no explanation of how that fits in with his announcement three weeks ago, as reported by Kerry's hometown Boston Globe:
GRAND CANYON NATIONAL PARK, Ariz. -- John F. Kerry for the first time yesterday said he still would have voted to give President Bush the authority to go to war in Iraq, even if he had known in October 2002 that US intelligence was flawed, that Iraq did not have weapons of mass destruction, and that there was no connection between Saddam Hussein and the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001.Kerry's positions are getting so nuanced I can hardly keep up with them, but if you put together his statements I think what he's trying to say is, "I would still mislead us into war." Does that mean Kerry considers himself "unfit for duty"?
The Most Important Day of the Year
Guess what today is, kiddies? Check the archive if you need a hint.
The Passion of Kal-El... Heats Up!
Ryan posted in the Peanut Galleries a debunking at Ain't it Cool News of Mark Millar's claim that Jim Caviezel will play Superman. Now Miller has challenged Harry Knowles to a $1000 bet that his source will prove accurate and J.C. will don the cape:
...just to hammer home how confident I am as regards my source (pretty much as good as it gets), I will personally write a cheque to charity for 1000 dollars from my Wolverine royalties (Wolverine 20 and 21 out October 2004) if Jim Caviezel isn't cast as Superman on the day principal photography starts. Warners may have a couple of PR stunts planned prior to the final announcement, but this is a bet that Jim C is standing there in a Superman costume once the cameras start rolling.UPDATE: Harry Knowles has accepted Millar's challenge:
Now is AICN so sure of their sources that they will do the same?
MM
PS My charity will be the Clyde Coast Multiple Sclerosis Therapy Centre.
I like Mark Millar... Love his writing... but folks... He's WAY wrong - and he'll be paying to a great cause, and that makes me happy, cuz...."Developing..."
JESUS ain't SUPERMAN!
Mark Millar has issued a bet for charity, he named his charity as the CLYDE COAST MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS THERAPY CENTRE... a wonderful wonderful charity. Unfortunately - the charity that I won't be paying (CUZ Jim Caviezel is not gonna be SUPERMAN in the Bryan Singer directed film) would be THE COMIC BOOK LEGAL DEFENSE FUND. So now - the good folks at Clyde Coast need only wait for the first day of photography on SUPERMAN to be 1K richer!
Zell to Burn in Hell, announces London News Review
It's not just Democrats in this country who now hate Zell Miller more than Bush himself, as evidenced by this unsigned LNR editorial (no, wait, it's in the "news" section):
If there is a hell, and most likely Zell Miller believes in such a thing, then Democratic Senator Zell Miller is going to burn in it. Spin hotly on a giant griddle. For something close to eternity.There is so much to quote from this article, it's hard to pick out highlights. Here's more:
Oh yes, siree. He is going to burn in hell.
And the chances of hell existing have just skyrocketed, because if God exists then he's no kind of God unless he quickly fashions a hell for Democrat Senator Zell Miller to burn in. And even if the universe exists without a God, as many would contend, it is far from beyond the inarticulate power of this vast mass of galaxies, nebulae and planets to create - within itself - a dark and steaming corner where Mr. Zell Miller can dwell, for eternity, in unspeakable pain. We can call it hell or we can call it Georgia. Just so long as Senator Zell Miller suffers in it.
So - yes - Senator Zell Miller is a very bad person. Here's why.
There are very many hideous things happening in the world right now, and yet up amongst the evil Janaweed massacres and Simon Cowell is the thumpingly stupid and evil belief which is currently being espoused by the Repubicans: that the only way to fight terrorism is to be firm, strong, resolute, unflinching, unlistening, blind, unthinking, staunch.... like what George Bush Jnr is.
I think that's my favorite line of the whole piece. It's fun to repeat in different scoffing voices: "Sameness! *SNORT* Like that's some kind of political virtue!""And I don't care what my fellow Democrats say about social issues. For me, national security and the war on terror trump everything else."He doesn't care about social issues. There is one issue for Miller, as there is for much of America: how is terrorism going to be fought. How is national security going to be safe-guarded? And how is this decision-dodging war-fraud John Kerry hoping to deal with it? Here's what Senator Miller says about Kerry:
- Senator Zell Miller
"I see him talking about the complexities of the situation, talking about shades of grey, rather than black or white."Yeah. Because the world is painted in black and white. Because there's no room for complexity, for thought, for consideration, for intelligence, for confusion, for difficulty, for uncertainty, for politics.
Idiot.
It's just plain idiotic to criticise John Kerry for suggesting that Iraq and terrorism is a complex situation that demands flexibility of thought. What the hell is wrong with seeing "shades of grey"? If you look at the world and the War on Terror and see nothing but black and white then you're as good as blind.
"Wobbly" is what Miller calls Kerry, while praising Bush for his single-mindedness: he's a "straight shooter" with "a spine of tempered steel" - "he’s the same man on Saturday night that he is on Sunday morning." Sameness. Like that's some kind of political virtue.
Wednesday, September 01, 2004
Hollywood Political Contributions: A through F
All figures are from Newsmeat.com. Only contributors to 2004 races are listed.
DEMOCRATIC CONTRIBUTORS:
Ben AffleckREPUBLICAN CONTRIBUTORS:
$1000 to Dennis Kucinich
$2000 to Wesley Clark
Alan Alda
$2000 to Wesley Clark
PT Anderson
$1500 to John Kerry
Lauren Bacall
$1000 to John Kerry
Alec Baldwin
$2000 to John Kerry
$1500 to Howard Dean
Jim Belushi
$500 to Barbara Boxer
$500 to Howard Dean
Candice Bergen
$25,000 to the DNC
$1500 to John Kerry
$1000 to Tom Daschle (senator from South Dakota )
$1000 to Friends of Hillary
Jeff Bridges
$1000 to Dennis Kucinich
$500 to John Kerry
Mel Brooks
$2000 to Howard Dean
Pierce Brosnan
$2000 to John Kerry
Steve Buscemi
$1000 to Wesley Clark
$2000 to John Kerry
Tia Carrere
$2000 to John Kerry
Chevy Chase
$2000 to Dick Gephardt
$2000 to Wesley Clark
$2500 to Victory Campaign 2004
$1000 to Ted Kennedy for Senate 2006
$2000 to the Democratic Senatorial Committee
$2000 to John Kerry
Chevy Chase on George W. Bush:George Clooney
“He’s managed to form a few hate groups into an entire Islamic jihad.”
$2000 to John Kerry
Glenn Close
$500 to John Edwards
$2000 to Howard Dean
Soffia Coppola
$2000 to Emily’s List
Kevin Costner
$2000 to John Kerry
James Cromwell
$1000 to Howard Dean
$1000 to Dennis Kucinich
$500 to MoveOn.org
David Cross
$1000 to Howard Dean
Jaime Lee Curtis
$2000 to Howard Dean
$2000 to John Kerry
Matt Damon
$2000 to Dennis Kucinich
$5000 to MoveOn.org
Ted Danson
$2000 to Howard Dean
$2000 to John Edwards
$2000 to Wesley Clark
$2000 to Barbara Boxer
$7000 to the DNC
$2000 to John Kerry
Larry David
$10,000 to the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee
$2000 to John Edwards
$2000 to Howard Dean
$2000 to Dick Gephardt
$25,000 to the DNC (2003)
$2000 to John Kerry
$25,000 to the DNC (2004)
$2500 to the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee
Robert DeNiro
$2000 to Dick Gephardt
$2000 to John Kerry
$2000 to Howard Dean
$2000 to Wesley Clark
$25,000 to the DNC
Danny DeVito
$10,000 to Barbara Boxer
$25,000 to the DNC
Leonardo DiCaprio
$2000 to John Kerry
Phil Donahue
$25,000 to the DNC
$2000 to John Kerry
$4000 to Patrick Leahy (simpleton senator from Vermont)
Michael Douglas
$2000 to Howard Dean
$4000 to Friends of Hillary
$4000 to Tom Daschle (senator from South Dakota )
$23,000 to the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee
$25,000 to the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee
Eliza Dushku
$1000 to John Kerry
Morgan Fairchild
$500 to John Edwards
$500 to Dick Gephardt
$250 to Howard Dean
$275 to John Kerry
Will Ferrell
$1000 to Howard Dean
Jane Fonda
$500 to Tom Daschle
$1000 to the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee
$1000 to the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee
Jodie Foster
$2000 to John Kerry
Michael J. Fox
$2000 to John Kerry
Al Franken
$2000 to John Kerry
Ernest Borgnine
$2000 to Bush-Cheney
Jaime Farr (Klinger on MASH)
$2000 to the RNC
BvB
A one-minute-forty-second clip from the new animated Batman series (to debut September 11) has been posted online in high, medium, and low resolutions in Quicktime format. It features Batman’s fight with the series’ version of Bane and looks pretty sharp except for a couple of anime moments when the animators give in to using speed-lines. Are those Pokemon cartoons really so popular that "we" have to adopt their shitty shortcut style to make kids like it?
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